Baby K Rool blues
by Vianerd
Summary: Oneshot! Suddenly, K. Rool gets turned into a harmless little baby. Randomness ensues, and Klump and Krusha appear to have their work cut out for them! -inspired by the animated series-


Yup, another silly one-shot in the wonderful world of cartoon!DKC! This makes no sense, though...

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><p>It was a glorious sunny day. Birds whistled in the wind and small butterflies flew everywhere. So in short, it was a beautiful day. Well, less beautiful for some individuals. One of those individuals was King K. Rool. He was moping about, being angry and annoyed at his last failure. He snooped around in his fridge to see if he could eat away his sorrow. Instead, he found a small flask of liquid. Recklessly, he gulped it all down. That probably was not a clever thing to do...<p>

"King K'Rooooool, sir!"  
>Klump was walking around, being bored. He wondered how K. Rool was doing on this fine day as he carelessly paced about looking for things to do.<br>"How was your attempt to take over the isle?"  
>He got no reply. Which was odd. Most often the King would scream back; "I HAVE FAILED!" and proceed to sob loudly while sitting on his throne. But this time, nothing at all. Klump went out to investigate. But did he get a shock.<p>

On the ground laid the King. But not like he used to be. The potion was nothing but an incredibly strong youth serum, and the King was turned into a baby. The baby-turned K. Rool crawled around, putting things in his mouth and doing other stuff babies were known for.  
>"Oh dear..." was all Klump managed to say. "What... what happened, chief?"<br>The baby King turned around and just stared at his general with big, confused eyes, and then proceeded to giggle maniacally. It was then when Klump discovered the bottle.  
>"Youth serum," he mumbled and slapped his hand onto his face. "Sometimes I wonder who the king is and who's the general around here..."<br>He walked off, but did have his second thoughts when the little K. Rool began wailing uncontrollably and ever so loudly.  
>"Oh m-... Jeez, K. Rool. Stop cryin'!" he said quickly. "One baby in a lifetime is more than enough for little ol' me..."<br>The kid grabbed hold of his own foot and began sucking on it. It made the general laugh.  
>"Heh. Just like Krusha used to do..."<p>

"You know, king, I like ya much better this way. Less long-winded speeches and stuff, heh!"  
>Klump was conversing with the baby version of King K. Rool. Because the baby rarely answered, the General had the time of his life rambling about a wide array of subjects nobody really cared about except himself, even if the little kid did not pay a lot of interest.<br>Suddenly, Krusha walked in and immediately began talking, completely oblivious to the happening that occurred earlier.  
>"Hey, Klump? You know I went out to th' toilets just yet, and you gotta believe me, I saw a pile of – what the HECK?"<br>Klump turned around. "I hope it was a pile of rocks you're referring to?" He said in a deadpan voice.  
>"Uh, yeah. Let's go with that. But what's THAT?" Krusha yelled. He did not yell often, so it sort of startled Klump. He winced.<br>"Turn down yer volume, Krusha," he said calmly, clamping his claws shut against his head at his friend's loud voice. "Anyhow, K. Rool has consumed the last of his silly little youth elixir and now he's a baby. Don't be scared now, he's harmless as a puppy."  
>Krusha was justly confused. He carefully came closer to the now-babyfied King and poked him cautiously a few times. Neither of them seemed to mind.<br>"Did you... put a nappy on our king?" he asked, still confused.  
>Klump raised an eyebrow. "Eh, yeah, of course? Don't want him to-"<br>"Since when do you know how to do that?" interrupted Krusha. "I mean, did you go Google it or something?"  
>"I raised you, remember?" Klump frowned. Krusha was so incredibly slow sometimes.<br>"...I wore nappies?"  
>"Every baby does. <em>Duh<em>."  
>K. Rool started crying. Loudly, because King K. Rool, even as a baby, was LOUD.<br>"Wow, easy, dude!" Klump called out and carefully picked up the baby King, rocking him in an attempt to make him go to sleep or something. "I think I'll call you K. Rybaby now... heh!"  
>He laughed at his own stupid little joke as he tried to make the little one shut up.<br>"I think he's hungry," Krusha suddenly butted in. Klump looked at him wide-eyed.  
>"Krusha, you do have your moments, you know that?"<p>

"Now what do babies eat again...?" Krusha mumbled to himself while rummaging through a closet filled with lots and lots of books. Some of them were old and dusty, others were new and shiny. But he did not have any success finding relevant ones.  
>"Milk of course, you lunkhead," Klump growled while he tried keeping the baby King calm (which proved to be extremely difficult) who was slapping his face again and again while giggling, almost sadistically.<br>"You brat!" the general yelped. "I mean... please don't do that, King K'Rool, sir."  
>"I, er... think I got it..." Krusha suddenly called out and dropped the musty old book before Klump. He picked it up and handed it to him when the other frowned for not being able to crouch because he was holding a kid, though.<br>"Aww. King bought this when you were just an itty bitty baby yerself..." Klump mumbled while flipping through the pages with one hand, being quite moved by this discovery. "I mean, look! There's still some odd notes scribbled in the corners..."  
>"And now the King who bought this thing... is a baby himself," Krusha said in a deadpan voice. "Why'd you need that book?"<br>"Useful information. It's been nearly eighteen years, ya know!"  
>"Of course."<p>

They flipped through the pages together while the baby King was out crawling about. They barely noticed him. Suddenly, Krusha giggled almost girlishly at something in the book.  
>"Say... breastfeeding, huh?"<br>Klump glared at him. "Don't you say another word, soldier."  
>"Speaking of which... Weren't we supposed to feed him?" Krusha realized.<br>But of course. They had almost forgotten that the baby king would probably be hungry by now.  
>"Alright then, you go get some milk and I'll... er, King K. Rybaby?"<br>Suddenly they both realized the baby king was nowhere in sight. Klump began panicking.  
>"Oh my- what must we do now! Baby K. Rool out and about all on his own... who knows what'll happen now... ack!"<br>He was silenced by Krusha who had shoved his helmet over his eyes. "Cool it, general," he said calmly. "We'll think of something. And if you don't stop running around and yelling like a mad person... I'll glue your jaws together!"  
>The general frowned. "Affirmative... sir." He said disdainfully as they both moved out to relocate their missing king.<p>

Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong were busy conversing with each other about a movie they had just seen. Suddenly, a small reptilian individual crept up on them.  
>"Alright, what's this?" Diddy mumbled as he saw the small creature crawling around and laughing insanely.<br>"Just an infant Kremling. He'll go away," Dixie said. "Wanna play a game or something?"  
>Diddy frowned. "No," he said. "This fella seems... familiar somehow..."<br>Crazy bloodshot eye. Sharp teeth. A much too large crown.  
>"...King K. Rool?"<br>Dixie jumped up and quickly hid behind Diddy. "Get him away! Save the crystal coconut -"  
>"Cool it," said Diddy. "He's a baby and as harmless as a banana bird... that reminds me... what happened to make him like this?"<br>They pondered the thought for a while.  
>"We should take him in. Dunno how, but we could raise him to be not villainous."<p>

And so they took the small Kremling to their tree house...

"You sure he ran this way?" Klump said, panting heavily and clutching his chest. "Oh, I should really work out more..."  
>"I'm sure, and yes, you do." Krusha mumbled. Somehow, he had abandoned his somewhat slow behaviour and devised a plan. "Say, we steal him from the Kongs. Then we return... and bribe Cranky to make us a potion that will reverse the spell."<br>Klump was left flabbergasted, his jaw dropped.  
>"Close that hatchet, it's getting cold in here," Krusha said mockingly. "Let's go now..."<br>"How'd you know the Kongs took him?"  
>Krusha turned around. "It makes perfect sense. They're obviously trying to make him one of them so's he can't do evil stuff no more."<br>As they went on their way to the Kongs', Klump was still having a hard time to believe Krusha thought up a plan.

"He doesn't want to eat," Diddy mumbled to his girlfriend while attempting to feed a chewed-to-a-pulp banana to the infant King. He had clenched his small jaws firmly shut and kept evading the food that was supposed to be put in his mouth.  
>"Oh, you knob! Let me see now…" Dixie pushed her boyfriend away and tried to feed the infant by herself. She had almost managed to stuff it in his mouth when she heard a familiar voice.<br>"Oh, hey, Klump." She said blandly. The General came stumbling in the tree house, almost tripping over his own boots.  
>"Hand over our king, kids! He's, um… it's past his bedtime."<br>"Your King?" she said, a bit surprised. Only just a bit. Because she was fairly sure that this was K. Rool, and the confirmation did not exactly come as a shock to her. How he got turned into a baby, however, was beyond her.  
>"Aww. Is General Klump degraded to bein' a nanny?" Diddy said in an annoying little sing-song voice. He began laughing, but desisted as soon as Dixie shot him a glare, because she was one of the first Kongs to have befriended him and didn't take lightly to others insulting him. Klump said nothing, but his unamused expression spoke volumes.<br>"I, um… just give him back, okay?"  
>Diddy was still joking around doing silly things such as imitating Klump's military code-talk.<br>"The fog is thick and dense today, huh?"  
>"Shut the heck up, Diddy!" Dixie snapped. Diddy climbed on the television, using his long, prehensile tail to keep his balance. He would still commence snickering.<br>"Don't think I can't get you from there!" Dixie grumbled to herself while turning back to Klump, ignoring Diddy for the time being. She promptly hugged the lizard. Since he was so fat- err, _big_, she could barely wrap her arms around his waist. "Aside from your King bein' a baby… how's it going, mister Klump?"  
>The General blushed slightly, like he always did when anyone showed any kind of affection towards him. "Uh… it's goin' fine, really… can't complain."<br>Krusha shook his head and shivered, turning away from the two. He gave a yawn before stretching his arms out. He looked across the room to spot K. Rool but the tyke wasn't at the same place he was before. The reptile's eyes widened as he went over to Klump and cautiously poked his side.  
>"Uh, in the time you two were… um, rendezvousing, Tyrant Junior has run off."<br>Now it was Klump's turn to look wide-eyed. He prompted Dixie to let go politely before he jumped out of a window, followed closely by Krusha. The two monkeys in the tree house could hear a vaguely audible thud or two and a few groans.  
>"You guys know you can just use the elevator!" Dixie called after them, but they had already run off.<p>

Meanwhile, at Bluster's barrel factory, it had just so happened that Donkey Kong had postponed loafing around to flirt with Candy Kong, his supposed girlfriend, while she was supposed to be working. Much to Bluster's chagrin.  
>"Hey, Candy!" DK said. "Do you want to go watch a movie with me? It's really cool - it's about this guy who turns younger for some reason…"<br>Candy shook her head. "I'm sorry, Donkey Kong, I'm still supposed to be working."  
>"Took the words right out of my mouth," Bluster suddenly butted in, a bit rudely, like always. "WORK!"<br>She was just about to do so when the three simians noticed something. It was a something that bore most resemblance to a baby lizard. It crawled up to DK and began tugging the fur on his leg.  
>"Whose kid is this?" the ape asked absent-mindedly. He grinned at the small creature's attempt to pull out the hair. "Where's your mommy, teeny-tiny pond-gack?"<br>"D-donkey Kong!" Bluster yelped and promptly hid behind a nearby barrel. "It's eating you! And then it's gonna eat me! Oh nooo-"  
>"Bluster, you spineless worm," Candy scoffed. "It's just a baby."<br>"I saw that," the moustachioed monkey mumbled meekly, but decided to stay behind the barrel, just in case.  
>DK was about to pick the youngster up when the doors of the factory burst open. Klump came marching in defiantly with Krusha trailing behind meekly.<br>"Hand over our King, ya flea-bitten simians!" he bellowed. Bluster was now even more scared as he decided it would be a good idea to crawl in the barrel he was hiding behind for the time being.  
>"Your King? Afraid you must be mistaken, pond-gacks." Donkey Kong said, while the young 'un had decided to crawl around in circles, chasing after his tail. He eventually fell down face-first to the floor and began pretending he was a train.<br>Klump snorted, planting his claws on his hips.  
>"Don't act like that! You, um… I order you to give our back our King! And I have superiority over you, so you'd better!"<br>"With that tone of voice, you're not getting anything!"  
>"I have fangs and I'm not afraid to use them!"<br>"I have _fists_ and I'm not afraid to use 'em either!"  
>"Get this over with, it's way past lunch time and I'm hungry!"<br>"You can use the diet, anyway!"  
>"Why, you cheeky-!"<br>Klump got interrupted by a loud growling from his gut. He looked around sheepishly for a bit before blushing and rubbing it for a short while.  
>"Urk… Please give him back, will ya? This is gettin' mighty annoying…"<br>"I'm a bit afraid you'll eat him." Donkey Kong knew little of how lizards acted, but he wouldn't be surprised if they were cannibals. And what with that one's appetite…  
>Klump shook his head.<br>"He's our King, why would I eat him? Sheesh! Krusha… reclaim our King, please."  
>DK jumped up at seeing Krusha, as he quickly shoved the King turned baby to the lizards' side, which Krusha promptly picked up and rocked him gently, attempting to get him to sleep. DK accidentally bumped into the barrel, knocking it over and giving Bluster a headache. He promptly rolled out, muttering about his sore head. When he opened his eyes, he was staring right at the crotch of Klump. Obviously, he quickly turned away his gaze.<br>"What's that? A monkey." The 'gator said, not even surprised. "You were stuffed in that barrel?"  
>Bluster nodded meekly but frowned not soon after, standing up and bracing himself, and proceeded to talk with a shaking voice. "No pond-gacks in my f-factory! You! Get out b-b-before I make leather purses outta you two!"<br>Klump neared the meddlesome primate and threateningly licked his chops, his eyes narrowed to slits. His snout was just a centimetre away from that of the ape.  
>"If ya don't stop the cheeky attitude, I'll just have YOU for lunch."<br>Bluster ran off and hid in the tipped-over barrel again. Candy sighed at the ape's cowardice and Donkey Kong just shrugged as the two lizards left with the young King.  
>"Well… So much for King K. Ong, right?"<p>

When the two had finally reached the hideout again and had their share of food, K. Rool had begun crying. Loudly, but even so, less loudly than before.  
>"Uh, General?" Krusha muttered. "Do something. Please."<br>Klump smirked and gladly took the baby from Krusha. "You'll go and take a nap, Krusha. I'll join you in a sec."  
>Krusha yawned loudly and went to his room to sleep.<br>Klump sat down on the ground and laid the small child on his lap.  
>"Alrighty, then… what's wrong?" he mumbled. "Unbelievable. You, my King… and you're a baby. Second baby in my lifetime."<br>He laughed a bit. The youngster still wept.  
>"Aww… hey, don't cry! Klump's here, your Majesty." He softly nuzzled the kid's stomach, who then only giggled.<br>"It's quite alright. Ya don't need t' cry!"  
>Suddenly, he realized something.<br>"Ohh. I get it. You're still hungry, right? Well, stay right here. I'll be back in a while."  
>He laid the kid on the ground and promptly ran off to the kitchen. He came back a short while after, and found out that, luckily, K. Rool hadn't run off. He was still in the same place, sucking on his tail.<br>"Lookie here what the General's got!" Klump squeaked in an incredibly over-the-top kind of voice. He picked the kid up and sat down on what was once the King's throne… but was still a mere foot-stool. He offered him a bottle of milk, and K. Rool promptly grabbed it with his little claws and began sucking it greedily.  
>"Well… only yesterday ya were yellin' at me and now yer on my lap, sucking away happily…" the General sighed and smiled warmly, half closing his eyes, while still feeding the young 'un with the bottle. He unconsciously began murmuring a soft lullaby to the King turned baby, stroking his cheek. Soon enough the kid had enough and pushed away the bottle. He yawned loudly and curled up, snuggling in his General's flab.<br>"Shh. It's alright." Klump threw away the empty bottle and began rocking the small lizard gently, still softly singing his lullaby. He constantly kept thinking that this was too weird to comprehend, but shrugged it off, as the adorableness was beginning to take over instead.  
>It was so adorable to the old General, that he almost began crying. The emotions were overwhelming him. He nuzzled the kid again, full of affection and love.<br>Though the bottle did not only contain milk, it also contained… something else. It was blue in colour and Klump mixed it through the milk, thinking it'd taste like blueberries. Quite the contrary, unknown to him…  
>Suddenly, a bright flash filled the room and instead of the small lizard snoozing in his flab, the full-grown, fat body of K. Rool was laying on the ground, hind legs up in the air, and with a very confused and angry expression on his face.<br>"Klump, what are you doing?"  
>Klump was left flabbergasted as he cupped his mouth in astonishment.<br>"…Stop lookin' at me funny!" the King yelled. "I order you! And what am I doing on the fl-… HELP ME UP!"  
>Klump obliged, albeit begrudgingly. K. Rool looked around the room, seemingly confused.<br>"Well, what's it? What's with all these baby things lying around?"  
>His General shook his head and wiped away a few tears.<br>"Oh, your Majesty… if only you KNEW how adorable you were…"


End file.
